Candice Payne » Computers and Internet

Dear Flash Artists

Candice — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 03:41:43 +0000

When you make text into a button, could you please remember to define a hit area? I mean, when you test your movies, don’t you realize how fucking annoying it is to have to click inside the borders of one of the letters? Maybe you just don’t know how to fix the problem. In that case, you have no business designing in Flash until you’ve at least gone through the built-in tutorial, because I’m pretty sure this concept is explained in there.

Election endorsements

Candice — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 08:04:16 +0000

I’ve seen a reasonably high percentage of the blogs that are nominated for this year’s Weblog Awards, but most of them don’t deserve the Candice Seal of Approval (in accordance with Sturgeon’s Law, 99% of everything is shit). I will only be voting in six categories, since they’re the only categories of weblogs I really browse often. All of them have sites I look at every day in them, so… go vote for these. I read most of the science category, but I’m going to vote on alternating days for just two of them.

Also, as penance for a bitchy comment I left in Raymi’s blog, I am requiring myself to specifically mention that you’d better check out her site, and vote accordingly as well, because she’s a pretty bitchin’ chick. Seriously, you’ve got to respect anyone that is intelligent, confident, funny, pretty and original but that also doesn’t let it go to their head and turn them into a douchey, pretentious, self-important, self-righteous dipshit. It hardly ever happens. Plus, Dooce sucks, and I don’t want her to win. Please kill me if I ever start a mommy blog (not that I intend to become a mommy any time in the next oh… 50 years), and kill me twice if it’s half as insipid.

Yeah so, the image takes you to vote for Raymi, too… I can’t help it if she’s persuasive…

Anywho, you can click any of the category names to go directly to the relevant voting page:

Best Diarist: Raymi the Minx

Best Comic Strip: Savage Chickens

Best Canadian Blog: Matthew Good

Best Science Blog: Pharyngula and The Bad Astronomy Blog

Best Medical Health Issues Blog: Respectful Insolence

Best Gossip Blog: The Superficial

Candice makes a controversial point

Candice — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 06:47:08 +0000

I checked Google, and people have already said this, but… I’m going to say it again, because it’s true. And it doesn’t seem like anybody has put it as simply as I’m about to:

The Internet is not a medium.

The Internet is not a medium in the same way that newsstands, DVD racks, hard drives, briefcases or Tupperware storage bins are not media.

The end. Bye bye.

Edit: I thought I might as well link to the Google search results for “the Internet is not a medium“. Bleh. As if it makes me any more authoritative than not authoritative at all. Um, I went to university for New Media for a year until I realized I was too smart for that shit, since I’m a genius and all? Does that count?

Edit2: Library shelves are just about as media-y as the Interweb. Also, I’m a bad Canadian. Fuck Marshall McLuhan. Say anything about him in a comment and perish.

Edit3: Those Google results include a lot of sites that claim that “the Internet is not a medium for [suchandsuch]” (emphasis and suchandsuch mine). Fuck those people. Whatever the Internet is, I can do whatever the fuck I want with it, so there. Take that. Fuckfaces. It’s not for copyright enforcement. It’s not for business transactions. For literacy. For community, junk mail, advertising, entertainment, blah blah blah. It’s for whatever I want. I am the Internet.

The Internet is for me.

End end end.

Somebody explain to me…

Candice — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:02:34 +0000

How in the hell is Second Life fun? Shitty lagtastic chat room, if you ask me. I am completely incapable of understanding this phenomenon. I’ve downloaded it like… three times in my life, so far. I had beta, once upon a time. It was retarded then, and it’s probably even more retarded now… Am I just stupid, or is everyone else stupid? (This is not a serious question. The answer is obvious.)

Dear search engines

Candice — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 22:39:42 +0000

Please stop caring so much about words in the title tag of a webpage. I am sick of having to remove keywords and slogans when I add bookmarks to Firefox.

I don’t care how much further up in the search results I could ever move, either. If anyone catches me doing this shit, boot to head please.

Suggestion: tag. I am a genius.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned

Candice — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 21:01:22 +0000

I don’t think that the comment box is the place for conversations. Conversations belong in e-mail, on e-mail lists, or on forums. Maybe that’s just me. But the format just doesn’t really… work… properly. Bleh. I hardly ever check back to old posts to see if anyone has replied. How good do you think my memory is? My intention probably wasn’t to be responded to, anyway. I have coComment installed, but I don’t make use of it. I hate weblogs. If you’ve got one that gets more than a couple of comments per entry, you need to integrate it with a forum, kthx.

Is Someone Stealing Your Internet Connection?

Candice — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 23:29:56 +0000

abc11tv.com: Is Someone Stealing Your Internet Connection?

Hells yes. I am stealing your internet connection right NOW, in order to read the article entitled “Is Someone Stealing Your Internet Connection”, and to post to my blog about stealing your internet connection. Sucker!