Drink another glass of wine, get back on the internet. Click through 47 windows. Click refresh click refresh click refresh click refresh. I belong attached to this machine, pipeline to a universe as spastic I am. Don’t need to keep my mind still. Constant stream of new information. Random and completely unrelated information. No need to centre on any one thing at a time. Quick bursts of meaningless, inconsequential data to push the stressful thoughts out of my head, confuse them out of existence.

I tried to watch two episodes of Heroes. I made it through one and a half, but not without taking 17 breaks. I don’t remember how to sit still, at least not mentally, that’s for sure.

This song is stuck in my head, also it’s my new anthem:

I want a new drug
One that won’t make me sick
One that won’t make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new drug
One that won’t hurt my head
One that won’t make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

One that won’t make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you

I want a new drug
One that won’t spill
One that don’t cost too much
Or come in a pill

I want a new drug
One that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all day

One that won’t make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I’m alone with you baby

I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that won’t make me feel too bad
One that won’t make me feel too good

I want a new drug
One with no doubt
One that won’t make me talk too much
Or make my face break out

One that won’t make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you