• Stag party = Bachelorette party
• Humidex = Measurement of what the temperature feels like in the summer when you factor in humidity
• Butter tart = Disgusting dessert
• Bachelor apartment = Studio apartment
• Gotchies/undergotchies = Underwear
• Panzerotto = Not a calzone, but close
• Dick = What I did today (nothing)
• Homo milk = Whole milk
• Rubber = Eraser
• March break = Spring break
• Mickey = Pint bottle of booze (I had to look this up, because I still can’t process American measurements)
• Forty/forty pounder = Forty ounce bottle of any liquor, not just malt liquor
• Pissed = A word for drunk that is not used often enough stateside, along with sloshed, smashed, and eh… a whole lot of others
• Poutine = What I wish I was eating right now — I live close enough to Wisconsin, there have got to be some fresh cheese curds somewhere around here…
• Pogo = Canadian brand of corn dogs, used generically
• KD = Short for KD, and all macaroni and cheese is Kraft Dinner (I still use this all the time)
• Wenis = insult formed from a combination of wiener and penis
• Timbit = Doughnut hole
• Gino = (or Gina, if they’re female) Toronto version of a guido
• Rice King = Guy who only dates asians
• Ookpik = Well, I don’t know how to explain this. So, um, click here
• Toque = I still haven’t determined the proper replacement term for a toque. Stocking cap, skull cap, and beanie don’t do it for me, because I know what those are, and they ain’t toques. A stocking cap is one of those elongated dealies, like Santa Claus wears. A skull cap is like a toque but is too short to fold over, and if it’s really short, it’s a Yarmulke or other religious head-covering. A beanie is made of stiffer material and sometimes has a propeller on top. And yet I get laughed at for calling a toque a toque. Excuuuuuuse me, but that’s what it is!

Oh, and…

• Hydro bill = Electric bill (Canada uses a lot of hydroelectric power)